Nashville’s Crazy

Well, this episode was certainly worth it.

As much as I am keeping my fingers crossed for a big-time death by the end of the season (I’m looking at you, Scarlett, for being unable to do anything for the show, but provide a most annoying character), I felt really sorry for her. Dat mama! Apparently, instability really runs in your DNA, cause Beverly mom is crazy, we all know about Deacon’s problem and now Scarlett is a drug addict. Oh, I can’t wait to see how the latter will turn out. Also, she got drunk before going on stage, no surprise there, followed by a traumatic breakdown, which was quite frankly terrifying. For the first time since the show started, I felt something other than disgust by her personal traits. And with that, I’m gonna close the first part of the review. Bleh.

Do you guys remember that cute British Charlie character, that shagged our favourite Juliette? Well, he’s back, a knight in shining armour, there to save Miss Barnes’ career, pulling some strings, nothing all that unexpected. Of course he kissed her, but she pushed him away, cause she loves Avery. Even I went all “aw, you go, girl” at this point. Charlie then kinda maybe tried to hit on Scarlett, Avery got pissed, a fight started, Juliette got mad and all that. Moving on.

Maddie Claybourne. Her video had gone viral and Mama James forced her daddies into an interview with Robin Roberts (I love that woman), explaining the whole paternity story, hoping that things will get better for her girls. Sidenote here, it was kinda awesome watching Rayna scream at a reporter to not touch her baby girl. Very Mama Bear of her. Kudos. Later we see her and Deacon talking, being very open about the way things turned out and thinking of what it could’ve been, both giving some arguments about doing what’s best for Maddie. By the way, I am siding with Rayna on this one, Deacon never should’ve put her in this position in the first place. 

And finally, Gunnar receives a check for a loooot of money, more than 400K, and being all sweet and boyfriend-y, he bough Zoey studio time for her to record a demo. Which, in turn, got her the opportunity to go to LA and meet with some music people there. Gunnar was not happy, needless to say, and offered her that she stayed in Nashville, quit her job and he would take care of her. And she was all “I don’t want a sugar daddy.” This is where feminism got it wrong, if Gunnar had offered me the same, I would’ve jumped though the roof, all happy and excited. But no, Zoey has to stand on her own two feet. Don’t let that one get away, girl, you’re gonna regret it. 

Well, long time no write, but if I had to review every episode of every show I watched, I’d be left without fingers, so see ya when I see y’all ;)

The Following and the disgusting hook ups

Good morning, Mark. And how did you sleep? Oh, yeah, that portrait is not you, it’s Joe. Back at home, there are voiceS coming from Luke’s bedroom. I know! I should knock on the door. Cause it’s not weird. Not at all. Naturally, Luke opens, kinda naked, all: “Take the hint, bro. I’m shaggin’ Giselle’s dead body.” Good grieve, it is disgusting!

Ah, Agent Weston, nice to see you again. Lookin’ good. Btw, here’s a photo of Joe, he is alive, someone swapped the DNA samples and the FBI is finally up to speed. Also, there seems to be a mole in the Bureau. Okay, bye now.

Meanwhile, Ryan is getting stitched up by Max and it looks like he’s gonna have to finally call the Feds. And Weston is on the other end of the line. “Quick, come, call Homeland, Intelligence, S.W.A.T., the Police, the Bureau, (did I miss anyone?)” Also, Mike, Lily does not only have twins. There’s a whole lot of weird kids in that house. International house of psychos, as Joe mildly put it.

Speaking of the Devils and they doth appear. Snuggling. Naked. Pillow talk. Ew. She has a plan. Joe has one, too. You ain’t going to Venezuela, sorry Lily. 

Mom, Giselle is dead, Ryan killed her, I wanna kill him, moving on. No, Luke! Goes Lily, all alfa female, pretty scary, too. We gotta go, the FBI is going to find us. 

Uncle Ryan, I know Mike. When he shows up at the motel, he expresses the concern that the Bureau is compromised. Like, biggest plot twist in TV history! But Ryan has a plan (and it is terrible), but they go along with it anyway. Mike is being a gentleman, letting Max out the door first (still hoping that this hook-up will happen, it’d be so cute). Oh, and the plan? Capture Luke and trade him for Joe. Less is more, I guess. So, the plan works, Weston knocks him unconscious. Kind of just FYI, Luke thinks Max’s lips are perfect. More inappropriate remarks: I squirm at the thought of killing you and doing things to you. I’m beginning to suspect that there is something wrong with this guy. So naturally, Mike being the gentleman we already know that he is, gives him a black-eye. And another one. And how can this guy make such a disgusting gesture (yeah, I’m talking about the blown kiss) so hot?

Meanwhile, Emma has just been made aware that the whole house was shaking last night. Needless to say, she is not too happy about it. 

Hey, hi, Lily, it’s Ryan. Luke can’t come to the phone right now. I’ll give him to you, you get Joe. Or else. So she drugs ol’ Joe and they’re at the drop-off, well, it’s not Joe. Hah, so nothing really happens, except for that awesome moment when Mike stabbed Luke a couple of times before letting him go. 

Back at crazy house, Emma suspects that something is wrong. So she and Mandy set off to find Joe, who is drugged in Lily’s bedroom. They revive him and… the Russian’s got a gun. Consequently, she is stabbed and nearly dead when they leave. Ryan, however, is at the house and kills Sammy (one of the creepy kids), which pretty much leaves us with Underwood’s twins, which is also kinda awesome. So, Ryan sees Joe off and Joe is giving him that “so close, yet so far away” look. Better luck next time! So Radmila has enough life left in her to tell Ryan where Joe is headed (how convenient) and he is off. Sidenote: Kevin Bacon looks hilarious when he runs.

Okay, so there’s a race to the airfield and the Grays are getting screwed over by Joe’s little party of three. Luke is almost killed by Mike, boy, this guy has more than just nine lives! Good for him, though. So, at the airstrip Joe receives a call and they do not board the plane and the Feds, always behind, swarm the place to find the jet empty but the poor, unsuspecting pilot. Well, turns out Weston was right after all. There is a mole in the Bureau. 

On that note, here is a pic of Shawn Ashmore. Enjoy! 

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The Following: Happiness is creepy, Just like clowns are creepy.

Well… Joe finally shaved that hideous monstrosity of a beard. Emma got rid of the punk-rock chich attire, Luke is jealous of his mommy and Joe, and, now this is my favourite – Emma said that everybody in the Grey family is crazy. Ain’t that rich coming from her! Also, there seems to be some worldwide conception that everyone with the last name of Grey is twisted in one way or another. I think you know what I’m saying. 

In the meantime, that annoying Giselle was caught by Rayn and Max. Jeez, she is so cute, makes me sick. Twisted, twisted people. So, anyway, Ryan wants to kill Joe, newsflash. Max is not happy, yet another newsflash. Lily hates Emma, wow, so many newsflashes! I am going blind. Mark, on the other hand, likes Emma. “Hah, you have such a big heart, dear.” Weirdly enough, I think his mom might be on to something. Of the entire family, Mark seems to be the only one even remotely… uuurm… human? For the lack of better word.

By far, one of the best moments in this episode was when Ryan almost strangled Giselle. Good go, Ryan! The way she was chocking, ah, music to my ears.

 Also, you can’t touch Mark. What? Yeah, he went a little crazy there when he and Emma were about to kiss. (Painting, posing, it was cute.) He has some kind of a phobia, so he is the only one who can initiate contact. Okay, seems like a legit problem. Pity, he’s cute. So Emma, being Emma, touched him, BIG TIME, called him a nutjob and tried to get away, only to find out they are locked. Oh, well, “mother doesn’t want to be disturbed.” That explains it all. Again, I have to say how impressed I am by Sam Underwood, it is uncanny how different his Luke and Mark are. 

On a more… or is it less? cheery note, Lily has a torture room. How fitting. And in this room, apparently designed to be Joe’s new office of sorts, there is a cage. And in the cage, there is a girl. Yeah, I know. Like a bird in a cage. Joe didn’t like it too much and for a short, glorious moment there, I thought he was going to kill her. And then he didn’t. Next time, maybe? Please.Turns out he just doesn’t want to be controlled. Well… does anyone, really? 

Ryan was running, hurt, walked into a house, scared the hell out of the woman, Luke and Giselle came, Giselle is dead, moving on. Luke is… sad? Is it possible that this sociopath really cared enough for another human being, even if it is Giselle? I guess we all have our weaknesses. 

Back at Happy House, Joe goes into the special room and for a brief second it looks like he is gonna let the girl go. But no. Tchaikovsky is on the radio and the girl is on the surgery table. And she just has to look Joe in the eyes while he is… doing whatever it is he is going to do. At this point I get the feeling that yet another scene from the show is going to make my “Top 10 gruesome things I have seen on TV”. 7/10, just goes to show. But no.

Remember how the FBI was in the story. Yeah, me neither. In fact, if it weren’t for Shawn Ashmore (agent Weston, that is), I’d say to hell with the Feds. They have found something, like, they are maybe two episodes behind. Keep up…., oh, no, that was a line from Castle. Sorry. Still, they gotta seriously up their game! Just to mention, because apparently the youngest agent is always the most competent, Weston does understand that Joe is alive. That’s right, FBI, he is alive. 

Back after the murder that we didn’t get to see *sadface* like, we knew Joe gets a real kick out of killing but the hook-up that followed was like o.O wut? Yeah, by the way, Lily, I am talking about Lily. We see Luke in the car, crying over Giselle’s body, Mark sleeping, while Emma is painting (I was starting to miss the latter two). She touches him, OMFZ, and we see the face on the finally finished portrait. Are we surprised it is Joe? No? Me neither. 

P.S. Max is fine. Ryan is fine. And a touching moment follows, where an uncle hugs his niece as in realization of the danger he has put her in and in relief that she is alive. It was beautiful.

Well, till next week, guys, in the meantime enjoy this picture of Sam Underwood. Image

Beautiful, beautiful man.

The Following a.k.a. What was that?

Wow! Wow! Wow! Where do I begin!? Lily has more than just two creepy kids. She saw the Luke and Mark were different (Sam Underwood is perfect times two) so she surrounded them with like-minded people, ahem, a family of serial killers. Also, she is not their birth mom, so I bet she has shagged Luke. Ugh. Very much ugh. Did you see the way he was touching her? And Mark’s expression at that point… well, they are twisted enough, so I won’t be too surprised. 

A romance in the brewing, Max and Mike, oh, that’d be so awesome, don’t you think. I mean, he was so sweet and came to warn her and he was trying to help them and the fact that she was a bitch to him only proves my point. They are gonna be so cute together! Plus, I dare you to find a proper nickname for this couple! Hah, I am pretty sure the writers come up with names with the sole idea of impossibility to combine them in mind. But nothing left to talk about on this topic so far.

Moving on to the lady who helped Joe and her… ex wife? who just so happens to be leading the investigation of the Cult. I am way too flabbergasted to even begin to imagine what that relationship is like. Do they know? I mean, does the FBI whatsherface lady know about her lady friend and Joe? 

But the most WTF scene was the reunion of Joe and Emma. I am sure it was intended to be heartbreaking, I just found it amusing. She cried so hard. So hard! I hope she uses waterproof mascara, otherwise her face would’ve been an ugly picture. So much black! These days Emma is like an angry teenage kid who has lost her daddy is acting out to make her (she killed her mom, but you see my point) crazy. 

All things considered, last thing I have to say is this Giselle. She is so annoying. The show doesn’t need her at all. I vote that Max kills her on the train and this is all over and done with.

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The pic is not really related to what I was saying, just Kevin Bacon looks so hilarious in it. 

Okay, okay, sadly, there is not much to talk about in a serial murder mystery, because everything is given kinda in a very chopped up way to keep us in front of the TV, but this was a good one.

So follow my blog for the next recap. You see what I did there? Of course you did, it was the worst pun in the history of puns. 

Switched at Birth and other swaps of different natures

This week’s Switched at Birth was packed with more drama than usual. I have to commend the writers for never lingering for too long on a topic without revealing it, an that’s why I would like to start with getting out of the car and going into Sharee’s house. Turns out the girl has really had it tough, no wonder she is a “problem kid” as Emmett’s mom kindly put it a few episodes back. So, Sharee’s mom is mentally ill, even more so, she is a danger to herself and her daughter is doing her best to keep that from happening. Daphne and Regina’s worried looks were kinda heartbreaking. One thing I don’t understand, though, and has always deeply bothered me in all and every TV series ever – why won’t you ask for help? It doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you look stupid, it can only do you good. Anyway, I suspect that we will soon have a reason for this, too.

Moving on to the most undesirable wedding in the history of television, alright, marriage. Toby and Nikki. Hah, it still seems so ridiculous, I believe I am not the only one who thinks so. The conversations between John and Toby are priceless! “You need to talk to your wife.” Had me laughing under the table. So, here comes the thing that might maybe, just maybe, be the end of this monstrosity of a marriage. (All pray Nikki stays in Peru and Toby gets so angry that he asks for annulment and finally sees how stupid that whole debacle was!) 

And Nikki’s lovely mommy. You can all hear the irony here, right? Right? Good. Now, who the hell does she think she is exactly? Throwing herself at John and stuff like that! “Alcohol turned me into someone else” might be a nice excuse when you are 21, but some 25 years later, one would expect you know how to handle your liquor. But Regina saw the kiss. Awwwwww! What are we gonna do now!? She’s gonna torment herself for a couple of episodes and she will finally tell Kathryn and all hell will break loose. The sad part here is, they will move past it. Don’t get me wrong, I love John & Kathryn, (can I call them JK from now on?) but for the sake of a good drama. 

I have a confession to make. Tank has become my favourite character on the show. BUT HE HAD TO HAVE A CRUSH ON BAY! You have ruined everything I was happy for this season! Besides, does Bay have to go through every single guy on the show? No, no, no, no, they absolutely must stay friends! He is so thoughtful and helpful and sweet and like the brother she never had. Okay, she has Toby, but you see what I mean. Hahah, and that ridiculous beer glass cut! What was that!? It’s just a cut, but by the way everyone reacted, I see a Grey’s Anatomy crossover in the near future.

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Yeah, otherwise “Go Bay!”, for that Pratt recruiter won’t recommend you without a few field hockey injuries. But we all wish you luck. * wink wink*

xoxo (too much? maybe I will just do a different line every time)

 

Dawson’s Creek nostalgia

So, from the generation that did not really grow up with this iconic show, I am now watching it and I gotta say, I have no patience to deal with all the adolescent drama. However, I seem to be unable to give it up. Why is that, you wonder? Well, here it goes.

I can’t stand James van der Beek. Yes, I know it’s not a pro. But I had to see what all the fuss was all about. Overanalysing, overthinking, being more of a girl than all the girls I know together, Dawson is by far one of the LEAST annoying characters on the show. Yeah, I know I said “least”. I speak English, thank you very much! To be honest, it gives me some kind of a perverse pleasure to hate on him. Okay, I realize it’s not the best way to start my blog. I promise, I don’t hate everythigng, although I have been told this is my charm.

Joshua Jackson’s Pacey was for a long time, if not my favourite, then at least the least not favourite. Does that make any sense? Yes? No? Okay, I don’t hate him. I don’t like him excessively much. Also, I am so glad that the combining of names did not exist 15 years ago… Poey? Pandy? Pen? Pemma? Paudrey? Okay, PANDY I like! So of the initial four, he was the one that did not make me wanna throw up my breakfast. Goon on him!

Katie Holmes. Ugh. Ugh! Joey is the most neurotic, annoying, overreacting, obnoxious, self-centred little brat. Ever! In! The! History! Of! Television! I mean, what is there to say? The character is completely flat and uninteresting.

Michelle Williams. What the heck? How can a woman walk so hideously? Beyond that, Jen is portrayed as some gorgeous little lady. Alright, not “lady” but you know what I mean. Well, who the bloody place where sinners go cast her? Overall, the only cute thing about Jen is her Grams, who is, and no argument here, the MOST AWESOME CHARACTER ON THE SHOW! So badass! And the way she can express all her feeling in one word alone – Jeniffer!

Jack. I mean, Kerr Smith. Ah, beautiful, beautiful man! And the greatest character (after Grams!). Basically, here I’m coming to the point as to why I am still watching. I want to have a GBF like him. He cracks me up all the time. And his awkwardness is so cute and at the same time so appropriate. Frankly, the only character that is not completely and utterly boring.

So there you have it. Most of the reasons I am still watching this Zeus-knows-how-it-had-such-a-long-run show is because I like hating on it. Now, naturally, I can’t hate on everything in one post, so till next time I watch an episode due to lack on anything else to watch. (Thanks, Winter Olympics!) I hope I find some fellow haters, but a fair warning, I have some serious fangirling moments, so if you occasionally find a nicely disposed post/review/recap, don’t lose interest.

See you next time. (I am still working on a closing line.)Image